Jan 8,2010

the month is almost over and basically am just 2 months away from high school gradutaion.. damn i feel awkward today... not the typical awkward but i just stare most of the time and think away from what's infront of me... you get what i mean... am "beyond" the typical me..

well.. it's lunch time and am still not eating cuz i dont feel like enjoying a meal right now. am still thinking... thinking abot stuff that you people shouldnt know about... personal stuff i guess... am still confused. VERY confused about the things happening around me... it's as if i was frozen for years then jsut revived in the modern age of the unknown...

<.< see what i mean.. am being paranoid...

so today i woke up about 7 in the morning and my body still aches from the long walk we had in candaba. yesterday we had our outbound trip and honestly i didnt enjoy the whole thing... it's as if i just wasted my time an effort. furthermore, i used my money to buy my own drinks and food cause i forgot to get some from my parents.. and i think i'd go bankcrupt in no time at all cause the days ahead will be full of new expenses and so on.. specially that the JS prom is near... i'd be needing new clothes... this is my last year as a high school student so why not flaunt 'til i have the opportunity right?

on the other hand, am still thinking... .-. am gonna leave a blank stare

.-. << like that


i think you people should try it too... .-.

haha... an upside down stare...

ok.. so well atleast i dont have any school work to do today cuz i really dont want to do anything today.. today is rest day and no one is gonna take it away from me! not even evil clowns! XD no offense.. <.<

btw... along the way in our outbound yesterday, i caught pictures of some of my classmates while they were sleeping in the jeep.. take a look.. x3



this is brandon sleeping in the front seat... xD



this one is nicco and he was sitting infront of me.. x3



this is maela.. our class valedictorian.. haha



lastly, this is bj... he was only covering his face with his hat but he wasnt actually sleeping by that time.. but still... xDD

.................................................................

ok... awkward pix xD i have four people in my collection of sleeping people... hehe

anyway... i also have a pic during our long walk in the bird sanctuary with my classmates... check this out...






ok so those are just some of the pix.. but i did post some of the other pix in FB...
anyway... i think my headache is getting worse... be back soon with more stories to tell...

BUHBYE!

Jan 6,2010

today is another one of those times wherein i become so stuffed up with things to think about and things that i try to figure out with my so busy mind that is already packed with problems.. i mean... in other words... am confused... i've been confused for like 5 months now? or more i guess... but still... i feel a little bit awkward today... as if things just fall right into me in batches of thousands instead of just one... and i can't handle it... physically am not ready... neither am i emotionally... not to mention the pressure of schooling and the stuffs that i really need to finish by next week or so... but i guess these things just didnt happen because they were like karma or coincidences that just came to me out of nowhere... i do believe that all things happen for a reason and that reason maybe bad or good.. but either way, we have to accept it.. i guess they are just trials given to us by you know who.. although it's hard to overcome, we need to try to fight our problems away... well... easy to say, yea, but it is very hard to do... expecially if you dont have the courage to do it...

to lay it out in simpler terms, try to imagine a forest that is being cut down by one logger.. the forest isnt much affected by it because it is just one and that the forest can heal by itself after a period of time... but imagine a forest being cut down by hundreds of loggers together with their machines and saws... would you think that the forest can heal by itself in an instant?

the answer is a big fat NO! the forest will have trouble in growing back it's trees.. and as more loggers come in... the more it becomes bare and hopeless.... it becomes destroyed and stripped off its serenity...

that my friends is how i kinda feel right now... am just one... but hundreds of things and problems come in my mind that tortures me every moment for some time now... i just need a break to relax from these bad vibes and stress and pressure that surrounds me everyday... and i cant help to think about it because eveytime i try to forget my problem, another one shows up.. the cycle goes on and on... then BOOM! when i can't handle it anymore.. i might just crack and loose my sanity...

well.. i guess that's all for now...

Jan 4, 2010

wow.. it's been a long time since i checked in my blog.. kinda misssed the days when i used to type in things i did during my summer vacation in manila... i dont know why but something is telling me to post a new topic today... it's kinda weird..

anyway.. today was the resuming of classes after the christmas vacation... after all the hustle and bustle during the holidays, we're back to normal! haha... i dont really know if it is normal but i guess it's a good thing cause i actually missed school and i guess i'll be missing it more when i graduate from high school.. hehe... 3 months to go! and college, here i come!

for some reason that i can't explain, i've been down lately... kinda laggish and somehow bored with stuff... even at class today.. i wasn't in my top performance... at first i thought it was just because i didnt have a good night's sleep or that i had too much time using the computer... but it wasnt just that.. i felt a deeper thing inside me that i can't elaborate of define...

or maybe yea am just tired... >_<

kidding aside, i wasnt feeling like myself today... well maybe i just needed rest but i thought to myself that i needed something else... something that i really dont get everyday.... something that would jumpstart my life and would make me do what i need and have to do... in short, i wanted something to inspire me... cause deep inside me i feel this emptiness that needs to be filled....

to be honest... yea am a bit depressed... just ignore the things i said a while ago...
i havent gotten any decent sleep cause i was too busy thingking of things that i really shouldnt think about... like for the best example, i wondered who would make me smile today... who would make me laugh... i know most of the people who see me at school or wherever who do know me would name me "the quiet one" or the "emo guy"... but am not just a guy with a silent aura... am more than that... i admit i'am a bit quiet... but i too need some chuckles with the people around me... it's just like what i say.... "smile is in you"... although most of you might wonder, why is smile inside of you? does it mean that happiness is always there inside of ourselves? i dont know to you but it perfectly makes sense to me... i guess you need to reflect yourself on that...

back to the point... somehow am really longing for something... something that i havent had a glimpse of for a very long time... too bad i can't tell you what it is but all i can say that it is "really special"... as in speacial that i just can't live without it... haha... that just made me think about food...

on the other side of life... today is also the last day of my aunt's vacation here in the Philippines together with her daughter and my grandma.. they live in the states and they came home just to celebrate christmas and new year with us.... and of course to meet up with friends, relatives, and so on... basically we're loosing another part of our family but i dont think of it as a big goodbye... i know that they're still there even thought they will be far away from us... and that we know we can still talk to them.. man didnt make technology for nothing you know! i for sure will totally miss them... my aunt's corny antics (although she's really funny), my cousin's big appetite (although she's skinny [like me!]), and my grandma's chatter box... (-zip-)... they'd be leaving tomorrow afternoon and i'd be coming too so i guess i'd be absent for my afternoon classes tomorrow... surely my teachers would understand... hehe

and now it's 10:55 pm and i really should get some sleep... -sigh- man i missed staying up all night trying to figure out what to type everyday.....

so i guess i'll just come back after a few days or so... fell free to leave a comment.. :3 ciao!